Maybe my outlook on life has been bleak these past few of months since I last updated the blog. Oh alright. My outlook has been completely bleak. To be fair, it is that time of year when I wish that the month of February, looming ominously on the horizon, would just disappear. But, I do think my general malaise stems from a deeper place than discontent with the weather and the lack of green grass.
I feel stuck in one place. Paradoxically, I feel adrift at the same time, without a mooring. I have no long term goal for myself-- I mean I am trying to complete a 100 Things to Do Before I Die list but I mean a career goal. This drives me absolutely crazy. I can't work towards something if I don't know what that something is.
On the upside, I now have two part time jobs instead of one. So, hopefully, with this small increase in capital I might be able to explore more options. I guess the time soon arrives to spend money to make money. But, I simply can't decide where to spend that money. So here are the options:
A) ESL teaching certificate. So I can go forth and conquer through teaching. But, this brings questions of which program should I utilize? And how will I pay for lodging during the classes? I am starting to understand the general appeal of socialism. Money is evil (unless you have plenty of course and then it is simply wonderful). But I digress.
B) Taking pre-med classes at the state university because I am interesting in pursuing public health and possibly medicine, both of which would allow me to travel abroad in the long run (Doctor's Without Borders etc...) if I so choose.
The theme? I want to travel and meet new people while seeing and experiencing exciting new things. Any suggestions for jobs that might facilitate this lifestyle either directly or indirectly? Any leads would be appreciated.
I mean this is why Korea sounded so appealing at the outset. And, even though, Korea ended poorly, I was, on the whole, content in Korea because I felt needed and like I was performing a "big girl" job. Not a task I could perform without the help of a bachelor's degree. I was living alone and trying to achieve something. I even went so far as to purchase a, partial, new wardrobe resplendent with two suits and other attire appropriate for a young woman keen on making a professional impression. The fact that I spent the money to at least appear like a professional proves to me that I need to try again. I want to be considered a professional (uhhhh but what kind)
I am in no way adverse to the "real" world. I am just confused about how to get another exciting job that won't explode in my face. Here goes Round Two. Hopefully this round won't be a knock-out like the first. So bad analogy. I guess this has to be a new fight instead of just a new round. Whatever.
Reading The Stone Diaries by Carrol Shields I found my new notion to live by:
"In one day I had altered my life: my life, therefore was alterable" (233).
My life needs altering. Here it goes.
So glad you're updating! I hope you do make it abroad.
ReplyDeletePublic health? Sounds cool! Doctors without borders sounds like a good option.
As for teaching, I wouldn't plop down your hard earned money for something like CELTA unless you know you want to do it for a year or two. And if you want to teach kids, you're probably better off with another kind of certificate - although I do find it helpful anyway.
Have you considered Peace Corps?